The Day That neuro Fell Down The Stairs
It was today.
I can't remember exactly what happened. I had just woken up and was running for the phone and then it was all whoooosh bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-BANG. As soon as I hit the bottom of the stairs, the phone stopped ringing. That was the really sickening bit.
I went swimming for a couple of hours in an effort to ease the pain. That helped, but getting out of the water was a bloody punishment from hell. Even now, I sit in agony, wondering whether I have shattered some part of my spine or not. If this pain doesn't lessen in the next few days, I'll go straight to A and E for an x-ray.
It turned out later that the person on the phone was ringing from the CAR INSURANCE COMPANY. My rage at this discovery was large.
My friend CK, who is old and knows diddly squat about 'puters and techo mumbo jumbo, asked today how much he could get for his "computer" (a nine year old banger with a monitor that flickers like a cheap candle in a church grotto in Inchicore), which is more similar to a solar-powered calculator than to my laptop. Judging by state of it, I reckoned he could probably get two euros for it off of a handicapped teenager working for McD, but it probably wouldn't be ethical.
On the hot topic of pornography (which I heard today referred to as "just lovemaking made public"):
Zap: You're the only woman who ever loved me.
Leila: I never loved you.
Zap: I mean physically.
I had a very successful presentation in college today. This consoled me. Before it began I made a warning announcement that I was liable to fall over, say something stupid or possibly puke due to the concussion. To my surprise, everyone was automatically on my side from that point onwards.
Moyna (tutor) took me aside and thanked me for the "energy" I bring to the class. (Is she implying I have ADHD?) Either way, I'll be pumping myself full of drugs tonight. You know, whatever I can find hanging around the house.
Posted by neuro-praxis on December 2, 2004 10:58 PM, in the category Children, Pets, Guests
I have some arsenic if you want it.
Posted by: K at December 2, 2004 11:34 PMI can see a niche in the market for airbag pants.
We've had parachute pants already, THANK YOU VERY MUCH MISTER HAMMER.
Posted by: David Barrett at December 2, 2004 11:49 PMI feel so loved.
Posted by: neuro-praxis at December 2, 2004 11:56 PMPraise be to Hammer.
He's gone like crazy religious now. You should try and book him to preach at your so-called 21st or something.
Posted by: Anonymous at December 3, 2004 12:10 AMYeah, I'm big into preaching at my parties.
(Fuckwit.)
:)
Posted by: neuro-praxis at December 3, 2004 12:48 AMI'll bring the small, dirty crate for you to stand on. I'm sure someone can rustle you up a megaphone.
(You pooh out of it)
Posted by: David Barrett at December 3, 2004 02:34 AMYou poo out of a microphone? Fuck, thats shocking interesting. Or maybe just shocking. Or confused. Or...
...I'll get me coat.
Posted by: mr_angry at December 3, 2004 11:26 AMHurray! Drugs!
Posted by: Adrian at December 3, 2004 12:40 PMI fell down the stairs in Europes Finest Nightclub four years ago and cracked a vertebra.
It was great.
Posted by: Soccer Ball at December 3, 2004 11:16 PM