Twelve Things That Is Definitively Better Than Incessant Studying As What Is According To Me:

1. Forcing down platefuls of unbuttered cold mashed potato, which you will then in desperation discreetly spoon into the coal bucket by the fireplace.
2. Stepping in dog shit just before that crucial job interview, wafting you in the ever-impressive eau de la poo.
3. Spending three hours watching repeats of Julian Simmons on UTV doing his weather routine and saluting five year olds on their birthdays.
4. Accidentally ramming a pin up under your fingernail. In we go - a good half inch!
5. Going on a particularly fast ride at Funderland operated by the dude whose brother is his father, and finding when it stops that there is a large gully of phlegm in your hand. And it ain't yours.
6. Chewing tinfoil and/or sucking on cotton wool.
7. Instead of being taken to Disneyworld by your parents, being taken to a burnt out warehouse, and then them saying, "Oh, I guess Disneyworld burnt down".
8. Your best friend having a tattoo of a spider web done on your face while you sleep.
9. Your creepy next door neighbour taping you from behind his curtains while in the throes of passion, and then posting copies of the video to your parents, grandparents and friends with a signed note from you about how you want to let them into every aspect of your life from now on.
10. Being accused of murder.
11. Having heaps of plastic surgery done only to find out that the surgeon was a quack and now you're designed to look like Pikachu. And he's skipped off to Mexico with your 30,000 big ones.
12. Incontinence.

Yup.