February 14, 2005

Caught A Lite Sneeze

From One Week by the Barenaked Ladies

It’s been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said I’m angry.

How fitting. And what a bizarre coincidence! It has been exactly one week since the fellow above (noted for taking his shirt off at funerals) had his row with his laydee, and it has been exactly one week too since I posted in my blog, which must be a record.

Not a good record, mind; we're not talking Whatcha Waitin' For by Gwen Stefani kind of good record here. I like to think I'm more in the league of a record like Irish Son by that prodigy Briyiyiyiyiyan McFadden.

I am utterly disgusting and flu-ridden at the moment. My best friend is my dressing gown. A hot anorak came to visit over the weekend and me and my generous housemates passed all of our bacterial diseases onto him - gifts that keep on giving! He left this morning with a horrendous cold and a new appreciation for his disease-free family.

So.

SMAPPY SKANKENTINE'S GHEY!

Today is the day that sucker imbeciles revere (or rather, draw painfully inaccurate pictures of with crayons) the hollow muscular organ located behind the sternum and between the lungs - its rhythmic contractions pumping blood through the body moment after moment. It is also the day of expensive fermented, roasted, shelled and ground cacao seeds, often combined with a sweetener or flavouring agent, not to mention the heaps of children's toy bears, usually stuffed with soft material and covered with fur-like plush. Today is the day men give women Marks and Spencers bestest versions of any numerous shrubs or vines of the genus Rosa, with prickly stems, pinnately compound leaves, and variously coloured (often fragrant) flowers. People also post each other flat, usually rectangular pieces of stiff paper, cardboard, or plastic, folded once and inserted in a thin paper pouch. EVERYTHING IS SO ROSEMANTIC. Personally I will be marking this hallmark holiday in my usual fashion - by frantically smashing both the radio and the television with the meat tenderizing mallet about oooh I'd say halfway through the day.

Quite.

I have had this page open for three hours trying to think of something else to say and I have finally given up.

Back to sucking coal for me, then.

neuro-praxis -- Gone For Good

Posted by neuro-praxis on February 14, 2005 04:02 PM, in the category Mouldy Curtains