Please Stop Me Before I Kill Again
NEURO'S WEDNESDAY LIST
Things you can't do when you're dead.
- Fart
- Catch pens
- Pick up hailstones that came down the chimney
- Be Jewish
- Push a banana into a letterbox
- Greet magpies
As such, I shall be doing my damndest to maintain the status quo of non-dead. No more lead pellets for me then.
Man, I need to wash these jeans I'm wearing or they're gonna go AWOL pretty soon. Either that or my husband will, disgusted by their rancid fragrance.
But oh, denim crises aside with the coleslaw and the garlic bread, oh I worked hard today. Yes I did. Welcome to the inside of my Milky Bar wrapper. It was hard, but with the help of a close friend, I made it through those tricksy puzzles.
profound
NEURO GETS POLITICAL
My very ill friend is not in hospital, even though she needs to be, because she is from Venezuela and as a result of this, there is no public health for her. So she is at home guzzling steroids and not able to walk, hoping for the best. I am so outraged by this that I am almost inspired to write a long Twenty Major-esque rant about the sub-par health care in this country, with prodigious and shocking use of the words "fuck" and, since I am feeling vicious, "cunt". To do this would be to offend my very own sensibilities, so I probably won't. I'll just quietly seethe. And perhaps write some letters to unconcerned politicians who will ignore them.
There's my new beef for all the canvassers sorted, anyway.
OTHER NEURO NEWS
I have realised that there has been a phenomenal power-shift in my parental relationships in the last few years. So. My parents are in France (the land of snails, frogs and "pacifists"), sent on a trip that K and I paid for (to celebrate their wedding anniversary), and this is the first time they have left the country in about 30 years (not counting visits on the ferry to see my brother in Birmingham). And I have tried calling their mobile to see that they arrived safely etc., and have had no luck. And I am utterly unreasonably worried about them, like the big fat loser that I truly truly am. Thankfully they are internet illiterate and will never read of this worry, and I will never, ever tell them. The witty mockery that would inevitably follow would be more than I could bear. (My parents are both stand-up comedians.)
LEAVING VIA THE RED CARPET
The pleasures of sleeping can never be over-rated, except in the case of the sleeping disease which threatens the non-dead status-quo whilst driving, and with this in mind, I will retire to my hammock below deck to catch seven hundred and sixty thousand winks, coated in the delightfully addictive Vicks Vaporub and snorting Sudafed.
Amen.
neuro-praxis -- Wearing Costume Jewellery Day In Day Out
Posted by neuro-praxis on March 3, 2005 12:14 AM, in the category Bifidus Digestivum
Yeah, the whole sleep thing is fantastic, or as they say in france, 'fantastique'. Idiots.
I found myself chuckling away when going to bed last night, anticipating a night of blissful slumber.....or maybe it was due to all that speed i took....
...Anywho....
You're back on flying form, Neuro. Well done, or as they in France, fair fucks to ya.
Bonzopolistickle appreciates funny stuff. Not study.
Posted by: bonzo at March 3, 2005 11:16 AMI'd like to point out that you can fart when you're dead. In fact, its almost unavoidable as your inner gasses demand release from your tensionless rectum. How do you like them apples YOU BIG INCORRECT PERSON YOU!
Posted by: mr_angry at March 3, 2005 12:13 PMI hope your friend gets better soon, Neuro. And you too.
I'm thinking of changing my name to "Milty Burkin".
John.
Posted by: John at March 3, 2005 02:07 PMYou fucking suck.
Ah no, you don't. I have Tourettes Tourettes Tourettes.
FANNYFLAPS.
Posted by: embee at March 4, 2005 10:15 PMI like sleep, infact I do it everynight. I also fart,often.
Posted by: dubtom at March 8, 2005 03:12 PM