May 06, 2005

You Are Dressed Like An Avalanche

"indeed everything was filled with sperm, except the captain's pantaloons pockets, and those he reserved to thrust his hands into, in self- complacent testimony of his entire satisfaction." - from Moby Dick, page 488.

Well there's been a lot happening in the last month. My sister-in-law got engaged, and to celebrate I drank a lot of Multiple Screaming Orgasms with her and her loud friends. I learned from this experience not to tell my sixty year old mother in law that the barman gave me and (the other) sister-in-law two multiple screaming orgasms for a miraculously cheap €9.00 (do you know how much that stuff usually costs?!), and then all the girls decided to go for them.

Other this-month-fact: the housemates have been in California, eating all of the raisins that they can stuff into their mouths (presumably). They will be trickling home in the next three days, bringing with them a tornado of love, gifts, and luggage that will remain unpacked in the hallway for approximately two years.

Then there was the time this month I was sweeping the hallway of my house and I put the mat outside, and when I brought it back in and settled it in place, I noticed with a horrible metallic rising panic that it was crawling with black maggots and they were getting pretty comfortable. I was in my bare feet, and I did a lot of screaming and hopping and sweeping of wriggly living things with a brush into the garden. I had to pick one of the maggots off my foot. I also had to scrape a few of them out of the little recess below the door, between the doorframe and the world. That was the best bit. While hunting for a picture of this particular kind of maggot, which I had never seen before, I came across this site, which I must WARN YOU ABOUT. Suffice to say it has blatherings about maggots being the world's smallest surgeons or some other such propaganda by sick fetishists. You get the idea.

Maggot traumas aside. Husband is in occupied territories today - he's in Belfast for a "meeting". So I must occupy myowngoodself in my jittery state. I must ask: why is everybody in the blithering world celebrating their birthdays in the last few weeks, and also in the coming few weeks? People, you have made me poor! And your gifts were meagre at best. When I am rich and famous I shall buy you all cars made of chocolate, and houses built of pot-pourri.

Also this month we went on a road trip with twenty-one folks from our church to Bangor - where we visited a church who've been generously loading us with cash (and prayers!) to get us up and running. There were 500 people at their evening service - they usually get a thousand on Sunday mornings. This was quite intimidating. It's one thing to lead worship in a church of 75, or to talk freely at the front, but before 500 people it's quite another story. All of the fun was had in the cars (church orgies - wahey!) on the way up - terrific banter, laughs and getting-to-know-each-other-really-well conversations. Pure joy. Y'all need to join a church. It's like a big fat family, yih.

Speaking of family, K and I and our two Venezuelan friends went to stay with my parents for a weekend, and did quite a bit of exploring of the west. The highlight was when we went for beers in B. Hopkins pub - it's this tiny 10-foot by 6-foot pub in Enniscrone - a good bit smaller than your average living room. The landlady was at mass so we had to serve ourselves. I dig it. :)

So I had my last ever lecture today. Ever. Ow. It was the philosophy of social science and we had a big argument about whether the norms and rules that we build in our world are as a result of natural instincts or not. It was heated. I am sad that these kinds of things are over. In fact, I could probably squeeze out a tear or two if I really thought about it. I am not sure why, to be honest - I have a pain in my face with study. But this is the end of an era, a significant era where a lot of things took place and where I grew a miraculous foot taller in four years. I regrettably didn't have lots of sex with random strangers and take lots of drugs and alcohol (actually the last one could be debated, but I didn't get regularly and ridiculously shit-faced), but I did host a lot of easygoing parties with great music, friends and beer, and those things won't end just because college has. Ah good old self-delusion and consolation! Well there ain't nobody else consoling me!

THE JOYS OF FRIENDSHIP

In other shocking yet delightful news, my friend S is taking me to London because she is marvellous. UP THE S-LADY! As soon as my damn exams are firmly out of the way we shall be jet-setting off to land the land of mists and mellow fruitfulness for a weekend of pure chick indulgence. Shopping, wine, shopping.

And our car broke, AGIN (once more, almost killing us with its wheel-falling-off-antics), but a clever friend repaired it with skill and kindness. Yay for him and his GIANT TOOL.

The puns have ended and it is getting dark. I am back. Now that I have 7 exams to prepare for, you can expect four or five neuro entries a day. I pity you all.

neuro-praxis -- Twice the Encouragement of the Real You

Posted by neuro-praxis on May 6, 2005 06:12 PM, in the category