Karma Police
Well would you look at this! Three neuro entries in a month! You must think all your birthdays have come at once! Well, they haven't. And while we're at it, don't ever forget that one day you will die. And so will EVERYONE you love. Ooh who's in a bad mood then? the camp ones among you are limp-wristedly saying. I think the answer is obvious. ME. Why? Because I've been given a new entry for Neuro's Big Book of Rejections. UCD don't want me. They've only offered places to students with their undergrads from UCD. Also they said they were upset about my poem and the photograph of me was disturbing. Then they said I have literacy problems and I would be a liability in the class. They included half a pound of raw minced beef in the envelope. They wrote a poem about me that went like this:
Dear neuro-praxis,
UCD hates your guts
Porcupines will rule the world forever!
I will be solitary, and then wear you out -
Ere I vanish to never
All among us wish you dead
With naught but a spoon, a spatula, and a horrible lisp
But I'll sure see the solicitor to get my bread
Now that you've barbequed my heart to a Grizzled Crisp
You, neuro, will always fail
We want just to sit and play!
Just sittin' here rottin' in jail
O Frabjous Day! Callooh Callay!
NO MORE YOU! we shout
Even though the best orifice is in your ear
And let my inner child out
And seeks her solice through the tears.
Fin.
Today has been a bit of a kick in the nuts, I can tell you. There is no solution. I need a path. Perhaps you, my friends, might scrabble together, clear the leaves and lay some concrete slabs for me to walk on, going in a particular direction. I shall expect this path to be laid by Friday at the very latest.
neuro-praxis -- Not A Potential Sexy Librarian
Posted by neuro-praxis on April 25, 2006 09:25 PM, in the category Rhythm Worries
No need for a path. Just a couple of tonnes of dynamite (just to make sure) and a few of your REAL friends will go and blow up UCD (forever). I could offer you your own words that you gave me when I was similarly victimised by google, but I assume you kept a copy of them for yourself. They are still true. They were helpful words (regarding God's sovereignty) and now I am glad I don't work there as I would have actually had to work, among other reasons.
PS. I am not actually one of your REAL friends so count me out on the dynamite score. I know you need REAL friends at times like this, but tough. I'm just a real friend. The path will be ready by friday, even though I am up to my eyes with wedding prep.
Posted by: jimlad at April 25, 2006 10:01 PMLibrarians are crap anyway. They're nothing but spiteful paper-pushing, shelf-stackers. SO THERE.
Posted by: Lucy at April 25, 2006 11:32 PMDon't worry Claire. I have already pissed on UCD's entry in my phone book. That'll teach them.
Posted by: David Barrett at April 26, 2006 01:42 AMEmm... don't want disturb the lovely shag carpet that is Neuro's home with a serious comment but have you tried your hand at some writing? Some of us strange folk seem to find you amusing some how.
Posted by: Tom at April 26, 2006 10:32 AM