Death Would Be So Sweet
I am currently experiencing disproportionate rage. Rage and vitriol that causes me to stab at the letters on the keyboard rather than caress them in a Sex and The City journalist kind of way. Plus I am stabbing at a keyboard attached to a PC, not one of your smelly i-books. Take that, Apple.
It is a stupid client. A client I truly detest. A client who seems to sit about dreaming of manicures and listening to the wind whistling through her brain cavity. Yesterday this idiot client demanded a design where they left out part of the artwork. (I work in a graphic-related business at the far end of the promotional industry.) This was the email. Let's call her ARETHA*.
HI ATTACHED IS NEW LOGO CAN YOU PUT HILLS IN AROUND TEH WINDMILLS NEEDED ASAP aRETHA
Ok. Fine, I will simply imagine it all into existence.
So I waste quite a lot of time and energy on a design with no graphics. Great. I just make it up as I go along, as there have been absolutely zero guidelines set. Today I receive the inevitable response email.
HI WE DIDNT LIKE THE HILLS CAN YOU FIX THEM URGENT ARETHA
Aretha, why don't you put your blindfold on and go play on the motorway? There is no way for me to say this in a subtle manner.
I HATE MY JOB.
I am off to cut something.
neuro-praxis -- Highly Flammable
*I changed the names for fear of a scolding.
Posted by neuro-praxis on June 14, 2006 09:52 AM, in the category Bushy Hair
/me shoots Aretha
Better?
Posted by: Teragram at June 14, 2006 02:11 PM/breathes a sigh of relief
You're a BORN SAINT.
Posted by: neuro-praxis at June 14, 2006 08:42 PMyUO CANNOT KILL ME HELLO
Posted by: aRETHA at June 17, 2006 12:07 AMKill them, Neuro. Kill them.
Posted by: Twenty Major at June 28, 2006 11:43 PMI agree, it would bring lots of publicity to some of our blogs if you went on a rampage. I'd hopefully get to appear on the 6-1 news where I could talk about that lovely girl who talked about killing her customers on her interweb site and yes I suppose I should have told someone but didn't. Then I could appear on Ryan Tubridy talking about shoes or somesuch.
Posted by: potato at June 29, 2006 02:29 PMWell ladies, the good news is that I LEFT THAT FREAKING JOB and I am now officially unemployed. But happier. YES!
Now that I've got all this free time on my hands, I think I will begin to find the personal addresses and numbers of all of my previous clients and post them bloody animal parts. Well, for starters anyway.
Posted by: neuro-praxis at June 29, 2006 09:13 PMYeah so... funny ringtones! GET EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT.
Blog soon or I'll come to your house and slash your face.
Posted by: embee at July 10, 2006 01:33 AMBut where else am I going to get information on cheap ringtones and free air travel?
Posted by: potato at July 18, 2006 12:46 PMNeuro, did Aretha get you first? NEUROOOOOO!
Sorry someone stepped on my foot.
Posted by: stigmund at July 18, 2006 04:34 PMThank god I found this, I've been searching for cheap airline tickets for minutes now!
Posted by: potato at July 27, 2006 11:23 AMMajority of above comments now rendered meaningless. I'M BACK.
Posted by: neuro-praxis at July 27, 2006 03:42 PM