October 31, 2006

Shizzle My Mizzle Bizzle Dizzle

Results for: banger

bang‧er  /ˈbæŋər/

1. a person or thing that bangs.
2. British.
a. Informal. a sausage.
b. a firecracker.

Results for: firecracker

fire‧crack‧er  /ˈfaɪərˌkrækər/

a paper or cardboard cylinder filled with an explosive and having a fuse, for discharging to make a noise, as during a celebration.

So lads. What you are telling me is that bangers are small uncontrolled and dangerous explosions that make BANG noises. Back in my day, we were content with a sledgehammer and a few old blocks: all the noise, 28% less danger. This nation's fascination with fireworks is just ABSURD. We are a society of NITWITS and imbeciles.

So in the spirit of the Hallowed Eve pagan festivites, I carved my first pumpkin today! I wasn't expecting the inside to be so stringy. It is of course possible that my pumpkin was a miserable rotted specimen: not having done it before I wouldn't know. But my resulting Jack-O-Lantern was a glowy marvel to behold. I ran around the housing estate showing it to strangers and discussing its creation with all who would listen. I even brought my study notes with me. Everybody was so interested. One neighbour listened to me discuss the carving process for almost ninety minutes. Now we are best friends.

Now I abandon the children who have been a-knocking all evening (well, a-ringing would be more accurate, although there was the one child who screamed in the window, "I CAN'T REACH YOUR DOORBELL!!") and celebrate Hallowe'en in the traditional way by going to an Italian restaurant with my prayer square. We used to be a prayer triplet and then another one joined. I HATE THAT ONE.

neuro-praxis -- The Biggest Banger In Town

Posted by neuro-praxis on October 31, 2006 07:46 PM, in the category Exotic Air Fresheners