Catch a Glimpse
Tomorrow, due to tremendous privilege, I will attend a hospital for an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Hopefully these pleasant, brief and non-invasive procedures will shed some light on my lifetime of tummy problems.
To prepare, I must drink four litres of Klean-PrepTM. NO PROBLEM, I think to myself, WHY, I AM QUITE THIRSTY. I follow all of the fasting and dietary instructions and prepare the first litre, and refrigerate it, which allegedly "improves the taste".
After an hour of refrigeration I indulge in a tipple, resulting in a spray of vomit in the kitchen sink. NOW CLAIRE I say to the air, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF; YOU'VE GOT 3.95 LITRES LEFT. I hold my nose and gulp down a half a glass, promptly spraying it back up again into the sink, along with my "light lunch".
I tearfully ring the hospital, explaining that my body is too wise to endorse tomorrow's procedures. The kindly gastro man tells me that if I cannot succeed in downing the muck, then I must also endure an enema.
Tomorrow is being renamed Black Tuesday.
neuro-praxis -- she'll post you the photographs
Posted by neuro-praxis on July 7, 2008 05:07 PM, in the category Limb Infections
Not so much a glimpse this though; more like that scene in Clockwork Orange with all the horrific imagery flashing on the screen while the main characters eyelids are pried open.
You have my sympathies.
Posted by: Betamax at July 8, 2008 02:59 PMNeuro, you have my every sympathy. Part of me secretly hates people who can drink stuff like that and then breeze off to the hospital and have all the procedures done without so much as a fling-yourself-on-the-floor-screaming-and-sobbing tantrum.
I disgraced myself entirely last time I was in hospital. But I was getting a wisdom tooth out and it HURT.
Posted by: WhyNotSmile at July 9, 2008 01:52 PMBit late now but I had to do it too and no it is indeed not nice. Along with cooling it, if you dilute it with LOADS of concentrated fruit drink it helps more. Anyway
Posted by: lucas at July 14, 2008 11:59 PM