I'm not actually from Planet Spa. I'm more of a spa by association.

Phil's the alien.

ur friend F. sounds sexy lol!!!!111 ;-)

puttng tings in d blender is ur solution 2 everting omglolwtf!!!!111

u hav no muthr. i h8 u btch
alldonebyebye!.....

Has Fergal turned into a BOP?

Sweet honey roasted fuckercunt!

I have a Planet Spa algae bath soak or something. It smells like cabbage and farts.

I always meant to take a picture and post it on the internet in a highly amusing way. You beat me to it, you fucking bitch.

Hey guess what? I know the potato sauce menace too. My mam laughingly calls it "finely mashed new potato" and she masterfully colours it with snippings of scallions. It looks like the vomit of a baby fed entirely on grass and sour milk. Tastes like it too. The vomit, not the baby. I imagine a cooked baby would taste rather like bacon.

When there is roasting afoot I don't understand why people bother with anything other than ham. Whatever you end up with, no matter how nice, isn't ham.

What's the point of slaving in the kitchen for hours and having no ham at the end of it?

I once floated the idea that at Christmas the family should divert all turkey/potato/present funds into a ham slushfund. From which numerous hams would be bought and we could have a Christmas dinner that consisted solely of ham.

My dad and brother expressed interest but mum shot the whole thing down.

I roasted a ham last week. The whole thing was gone in a 36 hour period, during which time only two people had access to the ham supply.

We were both very embarrassed.

So now you have TWO faults.

You smoke AND you think ham is the best meat.

I don't think this is working out at all.

Roast ham is civilisation.