I was going to write a few paragraphs here detailing a training regimine that would lead to you becoming a better wife, but as every single one was a variation on arson ("Proper ironing! Cover iron in lighter fluid, set iron on fire!") what's the point?

Also, hoummus is horrendous. It is the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth, and this is coming from a guy who bit his toenails when he was 10. What were you thinking?

You've shattered my theory on realistic stereotypes before I'd even published it. pah. I had you down for the perfect housewife and was going to send Curly Dee to you for lessons. The lessons I was thinking of were actually singing lessons, come to think of it so that's a bit irrelevant. sorry. Actually, no, let me see, oh! Neuro = perfect example of a singer, characteristics of a singer are ... etc etc.. . never mind. Now who did I have down for housewife?

My new job is as a housewife. Were you thinking of me?

If the response from UCD you're waiting on is for the MA in LIS, I applied for the HDip in LIS in 2004 and got no response until I wandered into their office and asked the department secretary (I THINK) sometime around the end of April. I hadnt got it. Point is, I had to actually call in and ask. Then, one week later I recieved a letter offering me a place because someone had dropped out. Further point: UCD LIS dept are NUTS. Distrust everything they say.

And, apparently, the course is dead boring. Just sayin'.

Lis is my ma, though she prefers to be known as Elizabeth. Why is there an M.A. about my mum, and why would you be interested in studying her, neuro? Is it because she's a better housewife than you are? Go study zoomjob instead. He gets the work done in half the time. Unfortunately it seems my mum is still a better stereotype than him on account of being female. I have you down as olympic sprinter zoomlegs. Wait, that's not my handwriting! MUM! HAVE YOU BEEN CHANGING MY RESEARCH AGAIN? MUM!?

I wouldn't make a very good sprinter on account of accelerating slower than Nigel Clough when he was signed by Liverpool, if you get that reference. But I was a pretty good middle distancer in my day. That day was the day Samantha Mumba beat me in a race. Oh the shame.